Day by day

from dusk till dawn

in dew sunshine or storm

this feeling grows in me

and keeps me warm

It should have been that of loss

made me forlorn

but this feeling in me

it keeps me warm

I might be reaching insanity

for what i seek

might not be true

but my heart doesn't believe that

even for seconds few

Such is this feeling in me

warmth it shall always be

Of what it is

i shall never know

a test

a phase

a path unknown

What was

is what is known

With this feeling of past known

future unknown

i listen to voices inside of me

This feeling in me says

it will bring us to we.

A Prayer

In my ecstasy

let me live

upon my hard wood mattress

may my body rest

while i count the stars

that i may not see

i shall then

all those carpenters forgive.

on the seesaw of sorrow

let me play

while i slide down

the banister of life

as much of dismay

i shall forgive your blows

even if in so

i am sent to slay.

upon the trees of a desert land

where a thousand cactus can only grow

let me jump from tree to tree

as i dream of a green grass land

which seems to be from doom so free.

it is then

that i shall forgive this land of thee'

where a thousand errors are noted on me.

Body and Soul

Stabbed

by thousand brunts

the heart lived on

with the aching soul

body

the sanctum of their

matrimonial home.

In their bliss

they subdued

the harsh cold

as the carcass

protected them

from mysteries of life

which would continually unfold.

The shell

made of human skin

was but a living throne

of their woes

which they together had borne.

Tattered and torn

the shed would leak

of torrential storm

but they contended

whether hay or sunshine

not caring of external form.

It was not

cement mortar or stone

human hide

was one of clay

living

yet not accustomed

to life's play.

The wake up call

"Wake up!

They said you're ok,

stop chasing those relentless dreams;

stop fooling yourself,

your nightmares will go away.

Wake up,

dont be a child

dont dream your life away,

live your life

its a one time thing,

dont pass it away.

Wake up,

the day is blessed

the night is over

you've had enough rest.

Wake up,

why wont you?

dont do this,

now is not the time-

dont joke this way.

wake up,

cant you hear me say?"

She's not listening ,

wake her up please-

GOD!

Dont do this to me!

"sorry miss,

we got it wrong-

she is long dead now,

there is no hope-

we should let her be."

Its you and me

Like a silent thought in memory,

you sit there where my heart keeps you warm-

forever in my dreams.

Its forever-

this feeling.

Like a mild breeze,

you remind me of the days

of beloved dreams,

etched in my heart-

my eyes cannot see,

but love it shall be.

Like a warm caress,

your memory keeps me safe,

wild dreams dont stand a chance;

Its forever as they say.

Like the rain on soil

you came close to me,

like the parched earth-

I imbibed you in me.

You are here forever now

as is this feeling in me;

You are here forever now

this barren land shall no longer seek.

Its only you and me.

One name

One name spells eternity,

the life of every dream,

swaying with the breeze

of meandering confusion

to survive every nightmare

of ever dwindling sleep.

One name stands tall

as proof

of the heart's longing

to continue beating

despite the everlasting distance

from then to now.

One name spells it all-

the reason for my being,

the existence which defies all meaning.

One name travels through time

in the chariot

of my heart's desires-

to continue the journey with me.

Tides

Lets drive away from oblivion,

see the sunset

while we stand on the shore

with the seemingly white sands.

Lets drive away from oblivion...

Shall we see it through?

Let us dive into the ocean,

taste the salty waters

and see what it brings us to.

Shall we see it through?

Come lets flow with the tides,

see the water gush away our sorrows-

follow relentless dreams

or take us to dimmed nights.

Come lets flow with the tides...

Love me the way you do

I need someone
to fill the voids that you have left behind.
Someone who would fill these empty spaces
with blocks of love and life.
The person who knows
not only how to heal the wounds
that he has inflicted,
but knows how to accept
the lesions left behind;

He who leaves the leafs of optimism,
not as shattered dreams on the grave
but as dreams-
to be replenished again;

Someone who knows this much
and so much more,
someone to love me
for a long way through...
Who would love me the way you do?

walk back home

someday i'll walk back home

under the ever grey clouds

i will jog- hop and skip.

pretend that its a nice day

as a warm breeze

would blow across my face

keep me cozy

on the dark dead end street

but i'll walk on,

dreaming of home

i will come

when im high

i'll come when im ok

its not today

not tomorrow

neither day after

it is but there

in my thoughts, dreams

even my fantasies.

dreams do come true

dont they?

i'll be home someday

i will be home someday

dreams do come true

dont they?

I am alright

i thought i was alright

as lost as i was

i thought i was alright

nothing could fit into place

but i was happy

i thought all was well

i thought i was alright

the world was revolving

and so was i

but i thought i was alright

torments never mattered

as i held my head high

i thought i was alright

nothing really mattered

neither the world nor i

i thought i was alright

i met you i laughed and i laughed some more

still i was alright

so much better than alright

i guess

i was happy

i saw me

i found you

i touched my low

i touched my high

i touched you

all was alright

and so was i

i needed a hand

i found another soul

my angel i said

i found my dream

i needed to cry

you held me tight

as you lay next to me

trying to push everything away

but i wouldn't stop

you knew what mattered was you

i needed you

you gave me comfort

you let me cry

you held me tight

i was ok

everything was alright

i guess

i was happy

remember that day

not so long ago

you held my hand

we walked through lonely streets

not so alone

i had you

you had me

i had everything

the dark corners didnt scare me anymore

maybe i didnt care no more

i held you

you held me

we had control

i was alright

i stand here sometimes

looking far far away

remembering a long lost summer afternoon

and the bus ride

you were so close

everything seemed alright

i stand here

every day

every night

every single moment of my life

trying not to think

trying not to recapitulate

every thing that felt so right

the days dont pass

and the night seems lonelinier still

i think i'm alright

sometimes i need to hear your voice

sometimes i need your touch

your arms

our talks

the way you smelled

deep into myself i just need to see

i can hear you still

smell the way you smelled

feel your touch

see you smile

or was that your grin?

i think i'm alright

you are with me

you are within me

and i'm happier still

i guess

i am alright

A Broken Heart

From a broken heart tears dont flow,
it just turns into an un-heeling sore,
bleeding more inside
than the deep red that shows on its outside.

It lives on its own
lonely and alone.

It rescues itself from finales' which would kill the sore-
from pitfalls of love which had once healed craters of tired souls,
only to turn into a automated retired core.

Cry

You cry and you stand alone,

You cry because you are left alone.

You cry on lonely days,

You cry when it becomes a hard day.

You cry because you remember the times when you didnt,

You cry because those times are lost-decayed and wilt.

You cry in loneliness and in fear,

You cry in happiness and in cheer.

You cry because you have lost those who were close and dear,

You cry because you want them near.

You cry because a hard rain is going to fall,

You cry because you need to reach out and call.

You cry because all is a mess,

You cry because you have not been blessed.

You cry because you want to hold someone's hand,

You cry because everyone you love leaves you for someone else's land.

You cry because your pain is your's again,

You cry because its all going down the drain.

You cry more than you laugh,

You cry every day till you last.

Dance

"Take me by the hand,
Make me walk on wattery sands.
Dont let go-
Hold me close
As we fly away ever so slow..
Let it be above sunflower fields
As you sing for the love it yields.."

But,
Life can't be this,
It cant be flowers and songs or sands,
It has to be more than holding hands.

It will see us in a different mood
Once we choose-
Yes,choose-to move away and brood.
Brood about why we met,laughed and played,
Or why it was that we eva prayed!

'Tis like this that life will go....
go on without love or laugh or play.

For it is the dance of life that will make us all sway.

What would be the cost of a dozen flowers that life has given us,
would it be the blood that flows
out of the pricks
that the thorns have inflicted on us?

The charge of living a dreamy life among the stars,
will it be the sleepless nights
that are spent in their arms?

Why should everything be charged on bills of life,
Why should we be made to succumb?

What should I give in lieu of gifts bestowed on me,
should it be
the passing of my life
or the time that does not seem to fade away?

BOB DYLAN

There are some lyrics which never get out your mind, some words with which one can always relate to...
i dont think one can ever outgrow the following lines from different songs by Dylan. These will mean different things to different people on different occassions...

How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
Yes, 'n' how many years can some people exist
Before they're allowed to be free?
Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head,
Pretending he just doesn't see?

I'm so tired of being lonely
I still have some love to give
Won't you show me that you really care
Only trouble is,
gee whiz
I’m dreamin’ my life away
Think i'll walk out in the storm
There no love to keep me warm inside
Hope it's fine at the end of the line
Now's the time to take a dive
Try a magic carpet ride
Everything is wrong
If you ever miss me
If i should cross your mind
You know where to find meI'll be waiting at the end of the line

As the night comes in a-fallin
'An' the silent night will shatter
From the sounds inside my minds
For I'm one too many mornings
And a thousand miles behind.
It's a restless hungry feeling
That don't mean no one no good
You're right from your sideI'm right from mine
Then take me disappearin' through the smoke rings of my mind,
Down the foggy ruins of time,
far past the frozen leaves,
The haunted, frightened trees,
out to the windy beach,
Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow.
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free,
Silhouetted by the sea,
circled by the circus sands,
With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves,
Let me forget about today until tomorrow.


Why dont we believe in the fact that everything in life can be as simple as kiss-and-make-up? why do we choose to make things harder when all of it is more cursed in our brains than in actuality? why should everything be a mess? why should we make peace with what might be, rather than being happy with what is? why shouldn't we be responsible for what is and why should what is not be what we want it to be? why should we think about an ending while we continue to live? if we are "living" why should there be so many endings? why should each ending be the result of divine intervention or awkward situations? why should we overlook good times for bad ones? why should bad ones always act like a curse? why cant bad times be reason for good times to resume? why should we wish our lives away? why shouldn't wishes come true? why should we always find the quick way out?

i do not want,
i do not feel,
i do not crave.

i do not wish,
i do not hope,
i do not run.

i do not live,
i do not cry,
i do not have a lonely night.

i do not wonder,
i do not rush,
i do not behave insane.

i do not linger,
i do not dream,
i do not curse.

how i wish
i could say
"i do not do all these things"
oh how i wish.

why do dreams come true?

The evening
It comes with a different dawn,
A different lull
A queer storm.

It comes with remembrance of promises-
Non existing ones,
Which seem false anyways?

It comes with silences-
As old as they are new.

The evening,
It comes with tears
It comes hard,
It comes once again.

It justifies neither what is
Nor what was,
It comes with remembrances.

The evening
It comes
It mocks me
For things which seem to have stayed and gone
It looks at me and makes me wonder on.


It fades
Into relentless nights of dimmed afternoons.
It comes
It mocks me for things that seem to have stayed and gone.

क्या करेंगे उस मंज़र का जो दबे पांव हमें बुलाएगी,

क्या करेंगे ऐसी राह चलकर जिस्पे साथी ना रह पाएंगे?

हम कौनसा आस्मा कि चाह में जीं रहे हैं- ए ज़िन्दगी,

तू बस हमें इन चंद लम्हों में ही जीने दे-

हम इस धरती से जुडे हर गुज़रे पल में ही अपना आस्मा सजायेंगे.

हम कौनसा फ़िज़ाओं कि ताक़ में जीं रहे थे

जो तुमने हमें तूफानों से ला मिलाया?

हमतो इनही बिजलियों से दोस्ती करने लग पडे थे

जब तुमने एक फूल हमारे दामन में ला सजाया.

फूलों को भी तो हम झिझक कर ही पकड़ते थे-

कि कहीँ हम उनके और वो हमारे मुरझाने का कारन ना बने.

पर तुम्ही तो थी जिस्ने हमें उनसे दोस्ती करना सिखाया.

इसी फूल को सींचने की अब कुछ ऐसी आदत सी हो गई है हमें

कि अब ना तुम्हें उनसे मिलाने

और ना उन्हें मुरझाने का

कसूरवार ठेरा सक्तें हैं हम.

i want my world back,
the one which seems so far away
and yet so closeby.

i want something...
i want everything.

im trying to be normal again,
not knowing what normal means anyways!

and who would i be?

i would be that long lost silent thought in your memory,
a shadow of the past.
i'll be the one you would cherish only in oblivion,
the one who cracks u up in your head -
the crack being larger than the one on ur ass.
i am the daredevil of yesteryear,
the memory of fate's decision.

i am ur long lost friend.

slave of destiny

"scared slave of destiny"
where will your hiding be?

"tired slave of destiny"
do you want to break free?

"lonesome slave of destiny"
who would look after you?

slave of destiny- ready to battle the ground,
do you know where your calling lies?

slave of destiny- wretched and weak,
do you want some peace?

who will look after you,
who would be your support...

would it be too late when you realise
that you-slave of your destiny
have it in your hands,

that the road is all yours
the path you find will be yours alone
make peace and move on
my dearest slave of your destiny.

Who would you call,

when all is fading away?

Who would you need,

when the world seems to be getting away?

When will you start,

to look in my way?

Is this what will happen-

will you push me away?

How do i come

to stay in your arms?

What do i do,
to make me yours?

Is this what u meant-

when we talked of drifting away?

How do i start to tell you how i feel

how do i explain?

Am i losing my way...

are we drifting away?

I want you now more than ever...

I want to be in your arms

and stay there-forever.

Just this one time I want to believe

that all will be well

that we wont get lost in the way.

Just this one time

I wish i could stop worrying away...

Its not that i want you to be mine alone

But i don't want us to part away...

Is this what you'll do-

leave me lurking away...

Is this how it will end-

me playing the blame game?

It will be what it has always been,
Change will never be seen.
What was will be what is
And what is shall always be.

The only change shall be in our mind's eye,
Which would retrogess
only to defy-
all that which would have changed.

Our future would be an illusion
of all that would be,
deep down inside
i will always be me.

What I am will be what has made me me,
the past would always bind me to thee.

The future lies in my dreams,
all that I wish to be would be my own
But who I will become will always be me.

The Pursuit of Happiness

of a man on the movie screen
i watch you staring back at me.

you look with your sultry eyes,
and make me want to realise-
all thats gone and over with,
i still think it does exist.

deep in my thoughts
my naked eyes
see and visualise.

a dream that holds me by the locks
a scream-deep inside
through the movie screen.

of a man who looks at me,
and makes me stop wanting to be...

a kid whose innocent smile,
is reminiscent of a thousand lies...

a mother who was once so free,
feels tied down to destiny.

The Deal

The "Prince" of Eden-
for he got the throne.
"The Prince of hearts"
was how he was popularly known.

Twenty he was when he died,
"twenty", "just twenty"
everyone cried.

he passed the oceans,
he passed the seas
and entered a land full of dreams.

Dreams they were-
as the saints had said,
now he knew-
that he had entered the land of the dead.

all night all day
and he would pray,
pray-for one chance
to live it all again.

finally the silence was broken by a voice
that told him that he had a choice.
but to choose,
he had to say
what made him want to go back to play?

"My life was not a play!
It was full of sunshine and hay.
No wars no grief,
No sadness no gloom,
all was presented in a platter-
I was set to bloom."

"You've got a deal my child,
now you must play.
Like a normal Prince
you'll be born again."

twnety years had passed,
he had yet to bear the slay.
Then, he met "Tiera"-
the prettiest of all.

She laughed with him,
she cried with him
and would lay her life for him.

she loved him-
more than words could portray,
he married her
to prove to her
that she would not be betrayed.

finally, the day arrived-
when Tiera lay on her death bed-
moments away from her last breath.

it was also the day-
When the king had to fight
Go on the battle-
for which he had won the right.

He won the battle,
He lost his wife,
he fought- till he lost his life.

Up in heaven once again,
"I have won this once,
but i have lost,
lost everything for which i prayed,
for to my wife-
i have betrayed."

"Yes my child",
the voice replied...

"you have won
won the game that you were meant to play
for your men- you have not betrayed...

As for your life-
it was all a part of the deal,

For some sadness, some gloom
were all that you wanted to feel!"

muddlehead-
trying to climb the stairway,
trying to reach stability.

muddlehead-
dumbfound.

muddlehead-
balancing on a single step.

muddlehead-
rejoicing a moment of relief.

muddlehead-
trying to carve a niche in your heart.

muddlehead-
trying to convince herself and you too.

ha!
muddlehead-
DUMBFOUND, CONFUSED, LONELY, WANTING, LOVING, NEEDING, WAITING....

I need Love,Air and Water;


Rain-a drizzle,


i need to walk through it-

walk and be wet and be happy and all that...





i want to be drenched-to be lost in the rain again...


I want that fragrance of wet mud in the air again...

I want to be able to make newspaper boats again...

see them float through the roadside drain,


walk with them and toss and turn;





And I want to get wet again...


There has to be the idiot in me somewhere-the one who cries in the rain...


but i dont want that idiot to know that i shall walk through the rain;





I want to see mom stand on the gate-


see me laugh-the wet wild kid on the road,


to see her chuckle as she calls


for the girl to come back again...

When will life come to us,
when will we approach life?
Will it destroy us on the way,
or will we destroy ourselves?
Should it come with lessons about it,
or should they be learnt along its way?
Are there parameters to life, love and death,
or just notions to kill ourselves?
Life will never ever be the same ,
is that the beauty or the curse that dwells through life?
Would life define who we are,
how we are and why?
Would life continue to be so-
Would we never know or understand as to why?